The Principal's Handbook

dealing-with-imposter-syndrome
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Welcome to the Principal's Handbook, your go to resource [00:01:00] for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self care. I'm Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness.
From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work life balance, I'm Barb Flowers. We'll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority.
Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Podcast. Today, we're going to be talking about imposter syndrome. And as a principal, I think we've probably all had moments where we experienced some sort of imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is when you feel like a fraud and you're unqualified to be in the position you're in. You feel unworthy of the success that you've achieved. You blame all of your accomplishments on [00:02:00] luck and you dismiss any positive feedback you get. And studies show that around 25 30 percent of high achievers Imposter syndrome.
And 70 percent of adults may experience it once in their lifetime. Because the thing about imposter syndrome is it can be something that people experience daily, or it can be a one time thing. So it just depends on your personality and your thoughts that you're having. So I remember feeling imposter syndrome.
A lot more early in my career as a principal, it was especially hard because when I was hired as an assistant principal, I was only 28 years old. And so people would always comment that they couldn't believe I was an administrator and not, not in a mean way, but they would say, how long did you teach?
That's a big responsibility. , and when people would say these things to me, I just started to question myself a lot. Like, it is a big responsibility. Did I teach long enough? And I would feel like an imposter and I would always have to [00:03:00] talk back to myself, but it was really hard in the beginning because of that.
And even knowing in a new role, because I went from the classroom to being an assistant principal, you know, was I doing a good job or was I an imposter? Was I a fraud thinking I could be a principal and I really didn't know what I was doing. So, you know, now looking back, I know I wasn't an imposter. I was a beginner and I was learning and that's pretty common.
But, you know, at the time I did definitely have moments of feeling like an imposter when people would make those comments about my age and things like that. , and even now I think it can be easy to feel imposter syndrome when I get into a room full of other administrators with great ideas. And I hear all of the great things happening in their buildings, and I start to get in a mode of comparison and, and now I have the thought work that I can quickly dial that in and know that, you know, I'm comparing, but it does when you're with a bunch of other administrators who do amazing things and they're all high achievers and, you [00:04:00] know, are Doing great things in their building.
You do start to compare and it is easy to feel like an imposter. So today I want to give you some tips on how to fight back that feeling of being an imposter. And I want to remind you that it is just a feeling you're having. Your feelings come from the thoughts you tell yourself. So in order to change the feeling of being an imposter, you have to change your thoughts about your own abilities and you have to have belief in your abilities.
So today I'm going to give you six tips for dealing with imposter syndrome. So the first tip Is to think about how you got where you are. I think it's so important because it puts into perspective, just what experiences and accomplishments you've had that got you to the position you're in. So even as a new principal, I felt like an imposter I was saying, but if I really thought about my experiences, yeah, I'd never been an assistant principal, but I had a lot of leadership experiences as a teacher.
And so I needed to go back and think. That's why I was hired. You know, they chose [00:05:00] me to lead this building to be an assistant principal because of my experiences, because of my education, because I know what I'm talking about. And sometimes I think that it's easy to forget that, but we have to take a few minutes and just think about the hard work we've done to get where we are and remind ourselves that we do deserve it.
We deserve to be in the position. And, you know, we did a lot of work to get there. So taking that time to just reflect back and remind yourself is very important. My second tip is to just be open to being a beginner at something. Anytime you're new at something, just allow yourself to be a beginner and let go of the idea that it's going to be perfect.
You're going to make mistakes if you try something new. , this could be if you're in a new role or you're trying something in your building, just be proud of yourself for taking a big step to trying something new and accept that it's not going to be perfect. Imposter syndrome is really linked to perfectionism as well.
So many people who are perfectionists [00:06:00] do experience imposter syndrome because you feel like everything should be perfect. And if it's not, then you're an imposter, but. You know, I can remember, like I said, I was a brand new assistant principal coming from teaching. I didn't know what the job would look like, but just taking that leap into that role.
is huge. And it, it doesn't make you an imposter. It makes you a beginner. It makes you a learner. So just be willing to learn and open to feedback from others and just know that you will get better and you're taking that time to be a beginner. But I hear a lot of teachers who are afraid to even take a leap into administration because of that idea of, you know, imposter syndrome, or they don't feel like.
They know enough or they're afraid to just be a beginner. So I think that that's so important. My third tip is to remember that nobody actually knows exactly what they're doing. I love to remind myself that nobody's perfect. Sometimes you go into a room and you see, you know, other administrators or you talk to other administrators and you think they [00:07:00] just have everything figured out.
But I've had the opportunity to work with, you know, You know, principles with lots of years of experience and what I love is they'll say I've never dealt with that situation either just because I've been doing it for many years doesn't mean I've dealt with that, you know, they take the information they know, they take their experiences and they make the best decision that they can.
So just knowing that nobody has all the right answers. Nobody's perfect. We're all just doing the best that we can every day with the information we have and you know, the decisions that we make. So. Remember, nobody has all the right answers and you know, you're not the only one who questions what you're doing.
Everybody has that feeling. The fourth tip is have a mentor or someone you can talk to. When you feel like an imposter, I think it's really important that you talk to someone and you can talk through situations. So for me, as an assistant principal, I was able to talk to my principal a lot. Now as a principal, um, you know, I can talk to my superintendent.
I work with a [00:08:00] coach, but even as a new principal, I got a coach. That I hired because I just wanted more help and to gain more confidence in the job. So, um, your state might also have a mentoring program. I'm in Ohio and I actually work with a mentoring program through Ohio. It's a really great program. So if you're new, reach out to your state to see what they have available, but hiring a coach is so beneficial too, to just get advice and help work on your thinking through different situations.
And it's great to have just a different perspective from someone. even outside of your school district. So, you know, that's part of why I love coaching is because I love to help people through situations and help them change their thinking. So I do one on one coaching. If you're interested in that and need some help, I'm here for that.
, tip number five, ask yourself if your thoughts are fact or fiction. So imposter syndrome and you start to have these negative thoughts about yourself and your abilities and what you're doing. Ask yourself if that [00:09:00] thought is in that feeling is a fact or is it fiction. So, for example, if you're in a meeting and you're comparing yourself to another administrator and you start to say, you know, I'm not doing anything like that, that's good in my building, or we're not near that far along, start separating those things out and looking at what's fact and what's fiction.
So it's definitely fiction that you're not doing anything good in your building. There's always something good that you can find, but the fact that you're not far, not near as far as far along might be true, but it could be true because that principal's been in the building for 20 years or different dynamics from the school district, so you can't compare yourself in that way, you have to just separate fact or fiction, and then look at where you are and focus on what you can do in your situation, because different dynamics in district schools It just affects what each building can look like.
And my last tip is to reframe your negative thoughts. So it's so important that we [00:10:00] challenge what our negative thoughts are and reframe them into positive thoughts. You get to choose the thoughts that you have about yourself and your abilities. And if everything you're thinking comes from a place of doubt, which is the opposite of confidence that you need, then you need to challenge those thoughts because our thoughts create our feelings, which result in our actions.
So if you have negative thoughts about yourself. It's hard to show up each day and have positive action. You're working against yourself. You have to take those negative thoughts, reframe them into positive thoughts. So you can feel more positive, which is going to lead to positive action. And one way I think that you can do this, I think it's a great way is using affirmations.
I use affirmations to get more positive thoughts and feelings in my brain. So the more positive affirmations you use, it actually puts the thoughts into your subconscious and you start acting out of your subconscious in a more positive way. , many times our brains automatically go to the [00:11:00] negative, but putting in affirmations and focusing on those will help your brain focus on the positive.
So I'm going to give you five affirmations for helping with imposter syndrome. I believe in my abilities and potential. So the first one is I believe in my abilities and potential. The second one is I am deserving of my success and accomplishments. I am deserving of my success and accomplishments. The third one is I embrace growth and learning mistakes help me improve.
I embrace growth and learning mistakes help me improve. And the fourth one is I own my success. I am not a fraud. I own my success. I am not a fraud. And the fifth affirmation is, I trust in my own judgment and decision making. I trust in my own judgment and decision making. And how I use affirmations are, I journal them every morning.
So I pick an affirmation, I journal it, and then I try to tell myself that affirmation throughout the day. So, [00:12:00] So, you know, if you're struggling with imposter syndrome, writing this effort, picking one of these affirmations and writing it out is going to help so much. And the best advice I ever got from a coach is just take action.
So if you're unsure, and you're really feeling like a fraud, you're feeling like an imposter, just keep taking consistent positive action to improve whatever you can do to improve your mindset. And just Improving your abilities as a principal, you're going to get more confident over time, but just keep taking action.
Don't let imposter syndrome stop you from doing things. You get to decide how you show up every day in your job. So decide to be a person who isn't afraid to fail and they take consistent action. And I just want to remind you that the best way to stop feeling like an imposter is to stop thinking like one.
You get to choose the thoughts you have. If you have negative thoughts, it leads to negative feelings and actions. So choose to think more positively and you will feel better and you will take more positive action. [00:13:00] Remind yourself you are not an imposter. If you're interested in one on one coaching or more tips throughout the week, you can find me on Instagram at Barb flowers coaching.
, I also provide a free confidence strategy planning session. So during this session, what I do is I evaluate your confidence using a tool I have with the five pillars of confidence that I coach on, and we will develop personalized goals tailored to the areas that you need to improve. This is completely free.
So if you're interested, reach out to me. Thank you for listening to this episode. If you find this podcast helpful, please leave a review so others are able to find the podcast as well. I hope you have a great week and stay tuned for next week's episode.
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