The Principal's Handbook

23 Do You Doubt Your Decisions as a Principal?
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[00:00:00] In today's episode, I'm going to share how you can stop doubting your decisions as a principal. That's all coming up next right here on the Less Stressed Principal. Stay tuned. Welcome back. This is episode number 23, and today we're diving into the common struggle of doubting your decisions as a principal. And as a [00:01:00] principal, we make so many decisions in a short amount of time.

We always have teachers, parents, students coming to us, and we have them asking questions, and we have to make a quick decision in a short amount of time. And it can be really difficult to do, especially when you doubt your decisions. And I can relate to this because I used to doubt myself all the time. I was constantly second guessing every decision I made.

And it was a significant challenge for me because there were so many decisions that I made in a day. And if I'm doubting myself, one, it took up so much brain space for me to do that. And I just wasn't enjoying the job as much because I felt like everything I was doing was wrong because I just had this self doubt all the time.

And some symptoms of self doubt. look like when we're questioning every decision? So principals can find themselves questioning every decision they make, like I was, you know, constantly second guessing your choices. [00:02:00] And when you do that, it really leads to a lack of confidence in your own judgment. Also, double checking.

Having the need to double check yourself all the time because you don't trust your own decisions. And that can be a time consuming habit, but also taking the time to revisit and review your decisions. I would do this at home at night. I would think about a decision I made, like, was that the right decision?

Should I have done something different? And when I talk about double checking, I'm not saying to not collaborate with people and get a second opinion. That's okay to do, but you can't do that with every decision that you make. You just need to do that with the bigger decisions. And so if you're double checking every decision, that can be really stressful.

And that, you know, makes you feel more uncertain of your abilities to lead. Also, if you have hesitancy in sharing your ideas, you know, if you're afraid to share maybe something innovative or unconventional due to your own self doubt, fearing that people are going to judge your ideas or how [00:03:00] they might perceive you, also just Don't.

Being uncertain when someone asks you a question. So I see this a lot and I hear this from principals. You know, if principals are questioned, you can get really defensive. It's easy to do that. I've done that before because you feel like, why are they questioning me about this? But sometimes people just want more answers and having confidence and being able to answer that quickly about why you did something is really important.

So feeling unsure when you're questioned. And then, you know, responding defensively is not a good thing. And the cause, what causes doubt? Well, doubt is just a lack of confidence. So it's important to understand that your self doubt is rooted in a lack of confidence in your abilities as a principal. And that impacts your self doubt on your decision making and your effectiveness as a leader.

And I didn't know this at first. I didn't realize I had a lack of confidence. I didn't know that was an issue for me. I thought I was confident. I [00:04:00] thought I was a good leader, but I just doubted myself sometimes. Well, that's part of self confidence. I learned over time and working with a coach. And so it's really important that you get to the root of your doubt and figure out where that's coming from.

And things that we try sometimes, but it doesn't really work is just believing that with more experience and time alone, Your doubt's going to go away and that's a common misconception. It can happen because over time you can become more confident and your doubt will go away, but not necessarily for me.

It didn't go away until I was intentional and really picking strategies to start. Getting rid of the self doubt and, you know, relying more on the strategies I learned than just my experiences. So today I want to share how you can stop doubting yourself and your decisions. The first thing you need to do is remember your value. Reflect on the reasons you were chosen for the role of principal in the first place. Remember that your school chose you, and that's a big [00:05:00] deal. I think we forget that sometimes, that there were other people who wanted the role, but you were the one chosen, and there was a reason for that.

It was because of your skills, your ability. So you need to acknowledge what skills you have. Know what your strengths are. Know what experiences you bring. that make you the perfect fit for your school. Create a list of accomplishments that you've achieved and give yourself positive feedback and reinforce your value.

One thing I like to do is I like to end my day at night, I'll write three wins I had for the day. And that's such a positive thing to do because it's me focusing on those little wins I had throughout the day. Maybe it was a conversation with a teacher that went well. Maybe it was a decision I made that I was proud of.

It could be even a task I wanted to accomplish and I got it done. Whatever that is, just three wins each day so that you're focusing on the positive. You're thinking about things that you did well that day. Also, identify areas for confidence building in that you need to [00:06:00] grow in. So, think about areas that you struggle with confidence or maybe you're unsure of yourself.

Is it in discipline and behavior management? Is it in instructional leadership or a certain area of instructional leadership? Figure out what that area is and learn more or have people you can go to to talk about that. So figure out where you need to build that confidence and start building that. Also seeking feedback from mentors, peers, or staff to find your blind spots in areas for growth is really important.

And that's how I figured out, you know, I had a lack of confidence was getting feedback from a mentor and figuring out areas I needed to work on. That really helped me because. I didn't see that as an issue for me, but after talking to people, I realized it really was. So sometimes we don't see our blind spots.

So seeking that feedback from mentors or other peers is really a positive thing. And then also having a growth mindset. That it's okay if you need to [00:07:00] build confidence. A challenge is just a way for you to grow. It's an opportunity for learning and improvement. So taking that mindset and being okay that there's areas that you need to grow is really important.

Instead of just focusing on, Oh, I have a lack of confidence or, Oh, I'm not good in this area. Focus on how you can become better and how you can learn and grow in that area. Also make sure that you're setting realistic expectations for yourself. Perfection is unattainable. And you have to allow for mistakes to happen because, again, mistakes are how you grow.

If you're perfect at everything, you have no room to grow. So having areas that you need to focus on and areas that you make mistakes, it gives you areas to grow. So set realistic expectations for yourself. Understand that leadership is a continuous journey of learning. And when you think you know it all, more stuff comes out or more things happen or we can refine our skills better.

It's always a continuous journey of learning. We don't want our [00:08:00] teachers to stop learning, so we need to make sure that we continue learning and we set realistic expectations with that. Also make sure you develop a support system. So having a network of colleagues, mentors, or a professional coach that you work with is really important for understanding areas you struggle in and understanding areas that you have self doubt in.

So seek guidance and perspective from other colleagues who face similar challenges. I think having that space where you can be open and vulnerable and talk to other principals about your struggles is really important because we all struggle.

That's part of the human experience. Nobody's perfect. And we need to have those places that we talk about that. And we need to be able to express that and get help and get guidance from a mentor. So building that community that fosters encouragement and shared experiences. So that could be people in your district, but that could also be people outside of your district. you [00:09:00] need to find people outside of your district that are in the same type of administrative role that you're in, and that's such a great way for you to share and be open and have a confidential space that you can learn and grow from each other and then create a confidence building plan.

So have a plan Outlining specific actions that you want to take to build your confidence and set achievable goals and milestones that you know when you meet those goals. And this could be incorporating professional development opportunities, skill building activities. This could be working with a coach.

This is one thing I love working with, principals and teachers on, is helping you build a confidence plan and helping you figure out who you are and who you want to be and how to bridge the gap between the two.

Because when we know who we want to be, we can practice being that person. And so creating a plan of how you're going to get to your, I call it your 2. 0 self. You have your 1. 0 self where you are now and your 2. 0 self of where you want to B. [00:10:00] You need to have a plan of how you're going to bridge that gap and get to where you want to be.

And it's so important that you work on your self doubt and you work on your confidence because one, it's going to make you a better administrator. You're going to be better for the people that you lead. They're going to trust your judgment because they see that you're not questioning yourself and you come off more confident.

And it's also going to enhance your own job satisfaction because if you feel more confident, you're going, you're going to enjoy the job more. Increased confidence brings greater enjoyment and satisfaction. Just think about things that you're good at. You probably enjoy more than things that you struggle in.

So just know that it's okay to doubt yourself. You just need to find the areas that you need to grow in and continue doing that. Being a principal is all about growth. It's a leadership journey and it's I think the fun part of being a principal is seeing how much you've grown over time, and if you make sure that you're reflective and really paying [00:11:00] attention to areas you need to grow and watching for that, it's really fun to see where that growth goes.

Find the areas that you need to build confidence in, have intentional strategies to do that. Remember, experience alone, time alone, is not going to make that better. You have to be intentional with everything that you do.

And if you want more and want to take the next step and stop Doubting your decisions. I have a free workshop on this as well. And I go through what's called my ACT method to help you stop doubting your decisions. So that's another great resource that you can use if you want more than just this podcast.

And you can go to my Instagram at Barb Flowers Coaching and click the link in my bio to find that free workshop. If you love the show and you're listening on Apple, scroll down on your app and leave a review. Keep in mind you have the power to shape your life according to the mindset you choose.

I hope you have a great week and I'll see you back here next time.