The Principal's Handbook

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Welcome to the Principal's Handbook, [00:01:00] your go to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self care. I'm Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness.
From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work life balance, I'm Barb Flowers. We'll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority.
welcome to the Podcast. Today we're going to be talking about how to feel more confident right now. In episode number one of the podcast, I shared how to become more confident as a principal. And in that episode, I'm talking about building confidence over time using the five habits of confidence.
So I go over the five habits of gratitude, Journaling, [00:02:00] affirmations, prioritizing, and celebrating your wins. That was a great episode for building confidence. I think you should go back and revisit it. However, if you're looking for how to gain confidence right now for something that you need to walk into and feel more confident, whether it's.
It's a presentation. It's an interview, a big parent event, whatever it is, and you need to feel more confident right now. Today, I'm going to share some strategies that will help you because remember, confidence is your belief in yourself and your abilities. And so your confidence, it comes directly from the thoughts you have about https: otter.
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Right now, as you head into that situation. So strategy number one is check your posture. Posture plays a huge role in how confident you feel and how others perceive you. When you stand up straight, it not only portrays confidence, [00:03:00] but it affects your own mood and your energy levels. So one strategy is to do the Superman pose.
It's an excellent technique to help build confidence. So what you do for the Superman pose is you get in a stance where you're standing tall. You put your hands on your hips. And you put your chest out and by doing this, you're physically asserting confidence and it's going to help you feel more confident, more self assured.
So this is a good strategy to do before you go into a meeting. Don't do it in the meeting, but before you go into the meeting or assembly or presentation, whatever you need to do that, you need that confidence, stand in that Superman pose, and it's going to help you build that confidence. Just try it. It really does work.
It's crazy how just standing up straight makes you feel better. Also, as you're in the meeting, practice checking your posture. Notice how different you feel when you stand up tall and pull your shoulders back. I notice my posture in pictures and when I go back and look at cameras in the building, I have a tendency to slouch and when I'm [00:04:00] slouching, I look very unsure.
And so I try to be very aware of my posture and, you know, practice bringing my shoulders back, standing up straight. And when I do that, I do feel better. I feel more confident. So make sure to check your posture and how you're coming off to others because Having good posture does make you look more confident.
Strategy number two is dressing for success. Your choice of clothing can have a huge impact on your confidence. When you're dressed in an outfit you love and you feel comfortable in, it boosts your self esteem. Think about that. If you ever wear an outfit that you think looks cute or it's super comfortable, or maybe it's a little bit more dressy and you feel good, You feel good because you look good.
And so when you look in the mirror and you like what you see, you're going to project more confidence to others. Also having clothes that fit you well. If you're wearing something that's too tight and it's uncomfortable or high heels that you can't walk in, you're not going to feel comfortable because you're, you're not going to feel confident because [00:05:00] you're so worried.
about, you know, how your outfit looks or how you're walking in your shoes that you're not going to feel as good. So making sure that you wear clothes that you're comfortable in, you're confident in, you know, and I, I dress based on what my day looks like. If I know it's a busy day, I know I'm going to see a lot of parents.
I know I have some tough meetings. I try to make sure that I'm going to wear something I feel more confident in. In schools, I think we tend to be more casual now. Um, my district's a little bit more dressy, but If I know I have big meetings, I will make sure to dress up a little bit more because it does help me feel more confident.
So also making sure to wear comfortable shoes, shoes you can walk in. I notice when I wear more comfortable shoes, I'm more visible in the building because I want to get up and move around. Where if I wear shoes that I'm like, these are terrible to walk in, it's hard for me to leave my office because my feet hurt.
So thinking about how you dress and how that affects your confidence. Number three, [00:06:00] visualizing success. Visualization is such a powerful tool to prepare your mind for challenging situations. Imagining the scenario or event you're about to go in. Just imagine that it's going well, you know, think about how you would act, what you would say, what the positive outcome of it is.
Visualizing success, it not only calms your nerves, but it helps you feel mentally rehearse for the event. And it makes it more likely to unfold just as you thought of it. So, you know, if I'm doing an assembly, I like to visualize that assembly go, going well. I visualize that the speakers say all of their parts, the kids are good listeners.
And I try to go into that assembly with that visualization that everything's going to go great. You know, the kids are going to listen. It's going to be a great event. Same with, if I'm doing a tough meeting, I go in with, I'll be confident. I'll say the right things. The person will hear me, they'll [00:07:00] respond well, and it'll be a good event.
And you know, it might not have the outcome that you want it to have. However, if you're going into that meeting, visualizing that success, It's more likely to be successful than if you don't, which goes into my fourth strategy of creating positive thoughts about the situation or event. So your thoughts actually shape your reality.
So you have to be careful about the thoughts you choose. Instead of dwelling and thinking about negative experiences or having self doubt, make sure to create positive thoughts about the situation you're going into. Focus on the potential for growth in yourself, the learning that can happen in the success.
I like to tell teachers this, if we're dealing with a tough situation, you know, I tell them this is a learning, this is a learning situation. You'll be grateful you went through this because next time it won't be a big deal. So making sure that we're looking at hard things that we do as ways for us to grow.
Also replacing negative self [00:08:00] talk with affirmations and constructive thoughts can empower you to approach the situation with confidence. And I'm going to share some affirmations in just a minute. But this goes right along with the technique of visualizing, you know, you want to go into the situation thinking it will go well.
If you're going into the situation thinking, I can't do this, I'm not good enough. And you have all these negative thoughts or negative thoughts about the outcome. That's what's going to happen. The energy you bring from your thoughts is how the event will go. So if you come in, you know, with a place where you visualized everything going positive, you've thought positive thoughts, you've had affirmations, that is going to create more positive energy coming from you.
Even if the meeting with someone else doesn't go well, even if you're doing a presentation and it doesn't go as well as you thought, It doesn't matter because you're coming with that positive energy, which is the most important thing. And that's what you can control. So you can tell yourself affirmations to prepare.
So I like to use [00:09:00] affirmations to repeat to myself, to help create those positive thoughts or to journal about, to have a clear mindset going into a situation. So affirmations you can use. I get to decide how I show up today, and I choose to show up as the most confident version of myself. So I get to decide how I show up today, and I choose to show up as the most confident version of myself.
I am a person who can navigate any situation I put myself in. I am a person who can navigate any situation I put myself in. I embrace challenges as opportunities to showcase my skills and talents. I embrace challenges as opportunities to showcase my skills and talents. I am unique, and that is my greatest strength.
I am unique, and that is my greatest strength. I radiate self assuredness and inspire confidence in others. So [00:10:00] I radiate self assuredness and inspire confidence in others. So just think about those affirmations. If you go into a tough meeting as I'm a person who can navigate any situation I put myself in, Just think how that's going to help you navigate that situation.
You're already making the choice that you're a person who can navigate any situation you put yourself in. So you're going to go into that meeting, that situation more confident and ready to handle it. So having that positive mindset is really helpful. and going into a situation and feeling confident. My fifth strategy is to be prepared.
Preparation is huge when it comes to confidence because whether you're giving a presentation or you're leading a meeting, when you're prepared, you're going to be more self assured that it's going to go well. When you know the subject matter well, you know the student well that you're talking about, you know what's going to be happening, like I said, if it's an assembly or presentation, you're less likely to feel anxious [00:11:00] because you visualized it, you've prepared, you know what to expect, and when you know your subject matter well, you're going to feel less anxious.
You're going to gather all the necessary information, you're going to practice what you need to say, You're going to anticipate potential questions that might come up, maybe potential challenges, and it's just going to help you go into whatever situation, more confident, more poised, more in control because you've practiced, you you're thinking to yourself, I got this, I've prepared.
So going into those situations. prepared are really helpful. You know, I like to practice whatever I'm preparing for. For example, when I have assemblies and I have student speakers, we practice. I help students practice. I practice so that I know which order they're going in so that when we're, you know, in front of all the parents and we have all these kids, we know exactly what's going to happen because we practiced.
, when I'm preparing for a difficult meeting, I like to write down some things I'm going to say. [00:12:00] Especially if you're new to difficult situations, difficult meetings with parents, teachers, just have like a script written out, practice that, know what you want to say in the meeting, and then you're going to feel better saying that because you've practiced it.
So practicing and preparing, it's going to help you feel more confident and more prepared in that situation. And my last strategy is to focus on your strengths. Acknowledge your skills, the accomplishments you've had, and your unique qualities, That make you suited for that situation reflect on maybe past achievements you've had Remember why you're qualified to be at whatever situation you have to handle These reminders boost your self esteem and it reinforces your confidence and your ability to do the job recognizing your strength Strengths also helps you maintain perspective and it reminds you of your ability to succeed So I like to think about when i've had to handle similar situations that have been tough It reminds me I'm good at navigating [00:13:00] that situation or event.
You know, I think of when I have to go into a difficult meeting with a parent, I've had a lot of difficult meetings with the parents, with a parent. So I look back and I think about the meetings I've had and how they went well. So thinking about where you've been successful in other areas is really helpful.
And if you're new, visualizing and thinking about your own strengths is going to help you be successful to go into that. Cause you can just think to yourself, I can handle this. I got this. I'm good at talking to people. I'm prepared. You know, I also like to tell myself that I was chosen to lead and serve this building.
And that takes my mindset into a place of gratitude. Which then builds my confidence and helps me focus on my strengths. As a recap, I just want to share those strategies again for how to get more confidence now. So you need to check your posture, dress for success, visualize your success, create positive thoughts, be prepared, [00:14:00] and focus on your strengths.
And incorporating these strategies in your daily routine, it's going to help impact your confidence in a positive way and just help you approach Different situations better. And over time, the more you do this and the more confident you go into meetings and events, and the more experience you have with being confident, the more confident you'll become because confidence is just the belief in your abilities.
It's a thought. It's you taking action and doing things and seeing that you can do it. So practicing these confidence skills is going to be huge in building your confidence over time as well. If you're interested in one on one coaching with me or just more tips throughout the week, check me out on Instagram at Barb Flowers Coaching.
Um, I have a free guide for prioritizing your time effectively. So click the link in my bio on Instagram to see that. Also, if you just struggle with overall confidence, if you want more information on what we talked about today about Um, confidence [00:15:00] strategies, the stages of confidence, I provide a free confidence strategy planning session where we evaluate your confidence, utilizing the five pillars of confidence that I coach on and create personalized goals for you that are the areas you need to improve in.
So. If you're interested in that, reach out to me. I would love the opportunity to work with you on that, but thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you find this podcast helpful, please leave a review. The more reviews I have, the more likely others are able to find this podcast. So I hope you have a great week and stay tuned for next week's episode.
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