Insider Secrets to Working with Various Stakeholders as a Principal
22 Insider Secrets to Working with Various Stakeholders
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[00:00:00] In today's episode, I'm going to share insider secrets to working with various stakeholders. That's all coming up next right here on the Less Stressed Principles. Stay tuned. [00:01:00] Welcome back. This is episode number 22, and today we're talking about the number one secret behind how to work with different stakeholders. Working with various stakeholders can be a large challenge as a principal, because we know as a principal we're working with parents. We're working with students with diverse needs, we're working with other administrators, we're working with community members, and then staff.
And staff alone can be complex because we have our teachers and our certified staff and then we have our classified staff. So, you know, that's one of the biggest challenges I didn't realize going in as a principal was how much, how many situations could be hard to navigate with custodians and working with the cafeteria and working with.
Paraprofessionals and, all the different groups of people that you're working with. And each group of people is very different. And there's so many dynamics that go into that. And everybody comes in, you know, with their own perspective of [00:02:00] what they'd like to see happen. And they have their own opinions.
And so you're navigating all of that. And that can be really challenging. So today, I want to talk about what that looks like when we're working with various stakeholders. I talked about it briefly, but it is working with diverse groups who bring in all these different viewpoints and expectations.
And these expectations come from their experiences and their perspectives and how they were brought up. So also it depends on the community they came from. But a hard dynamic in a school is that everybody has an experience in school, and so they feel like they know how school should run based on their experiences.
So I feel like being a principal and working in a school, and it's like this as teachers too, we all get people's input and people's opinions about how it should run because they have experience in school from being a student themselves. And so that's the same, that's the same with our staff members.
And when you're dealing with, [00:03:00] you know, community members, they all bring in their own beliefs and past experiences into the school's culture of how they think it should be run, how their experiences have affected their schooling and what they feel like that should look like, what they want it to look like for their own children.
So there's all these dynamics that go into working with various stakeholders that we just need to be aware of and we need to be reflective of and understanding as we're working with these people. Some of the problems we deal with as principals and, Addressing all the needs of diverse groups of people and stakeholders are people pleasing. You know, if you have a tendency to be a people pleaser and you want to please everyone, just remember you will please no one. I have dealt with people pleasing my whole life.
That's just part of my personality. And so to be a principal and a people pleaser is not easy. And I've really had to work through this over time and understand that there's no way I'm going to please everybody. And I just have to do what [00:04:00] is best for the students and what I think the best decision is in that situation and also just understanding where people are coming from and having them understand where I'm coming from, I think, is the best way to communicate that, but making sure that I'm not letting other people's opinions dominate the decisions that I make.
I've also had to learn over time not to take things personally, because we know that everybody comes in with different experiences of school, and they have different experiences with principals. And so maybe it's a trust issue they have with a principal, or they just don't trust schools in general. And so if people are upset with me, it might not have anything to do with me.
It might have to do with their previous experiences of school. Also, sometimes people just They're so protective of their kids, they don't even think rationally. And I have to remember that this is their kids. We don't always think rationally when it comes to our kids. That was advice I was given. And I, I just, I always remember that because, you know, I'll deal with something and think that doesn't even [00:05:00] make sense, but I have to tell myself, we don't always think rationally when it comes to our kids, because that's a blind spot for us and we want to protect them.
And Also Keeping in mind that when you try to solve problems you always just need to do what's best for students because again you're not going to please everything, it's not all about you, you can't take it personal, you just have to problem solve in a way that is best for the student and then work with the stakeholders within that.
Today I wanted to give you my insider secrets of how to work with different stakeholders. So, first, make sure you're staying neutral. And I want you to think about the T cycle. So, you want to stay neutral when you're interpreting feedback from stakeholders.
Just like I said, everybody comes with different perspectives, experiences. And we want to make sure that we're not judging people. We want to make sure that we're just staying neutral and we're keeping our thoughts in a positive place. And so I talk about the T cycle and other podcast episodes, but that's really [00:06:00] that our thoughts impact our emotions and our actions.
And so if we stay neutral in our thoughts, then we're going to have neutral emotions and actions when we're dealing with situations with stakeholders, where if we come from a place of negativity or a place of judgment with our thoughts, That's going to impact our emotions and that's going to impact our actions.
So we really need to stay neutral. We really need to make sure that we are focusing on what's best for kids and just not judging people as they come with their emotions and opinions and talk to us, which can be really difficult. That can be hard to manage all of that. But again, it just comes to us. It comes down to us managing our mindset as principals and really coming from a neutral place.
Also, make sure you're focusing on the controllable aspects. So really focus on things that you can control and put all your energy into being proactive rather than reacting to all these external factors. So if we're always being proactive with our [00:07:00] communication, proactive with thinking about plans and what we want to do working with these different stakeholders, it's really going to help us control the situation better and have more neutral thoughts, emotions, and actions.
We also want to make sure we're adopting a growth mindset.
We want to make sure that we're viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. So, you know, learn from the interactions that you have with stakeholders. When you start to feel overwhelmed or you feel like you handled something wrong, learn from the situation. Learn from it, stay neutral, and just know different ways you can move forward.
I know for me, the more, if I've had a negative interaction with a parent, I just try to really reflect on that, and then build a relationship moving forward with lots of positives, and focusing on not holding that negative interaction. against that parent or constantly thinking about that when it comes to the student.
Because again, it goes back to we need to stay neutral and we need to view challenges as opportunities for growth. [00:08:00] Also, having effective communication strategies is super important. So having open communication in navigating these different relationships with stakeholders, you know, Make sure that we're listening.
When people come to us with concerns, make sure that we're actually listening and we're being an active listener and we're not talking, but we're actually listening and we have empathy for them. We might not agree with their concerns, but we can have empathy and we can listen and we can have a constructive dialogue with them to just build mutual understanding from where each of us are coming from with our different perspectives.
And again, you're not going to have every parent or community member or staff member agree with everything that you say, but being able to have that dialogue and just have a mutual understanding is really important for building those relationships. Also, make sure you establish boundaries. So you have to set boundaries to manage your expectations and workload.
And one of the ways I encourage teachers to do this, [00:09:00] and principals need to do it as well, is you have to have boundaries with the communication that you have with these stakeholders. So making sure that you're not communicating at all hours of the night. Making sure that you're communicating during the day, and then you're not checking your email or communicating at other times.
You know, I used to check my email in the evening because I would think, okay, this parent's going to be upset about the situation I handled. I want to check my email and be able to respond to them right away. And over time, I realized all that does is stress me out. It doesn't help the situation because we all, if a parent emails me upset, we all need time to Cool off, you know, I need to just give them that time, um, to cool off before I talk to them, and also talking to them on the phone is better anyways, so I don't need to be checking my email at night.
I need to be having boundaries for myself and boundaries for my mindset that I'm not thinking about it after work, and that just helps me have better relationships with those, uh, different stakeholders as well, because then I'm not feeling upset that it's taking away from my [00:10:00] evening. So having those boundaries is really important.
And we want to make sure that we're building collaborative partnerships. And this goes with what I was talking about, about being open and being a good listener and being empathetic. But the more that we listen and promote collaborative partnerships, and we involve them in decision making, It's gonna create a shared sense of responsibility.
It's gonna create involvement in the school community for others, whether this is collaborating with teachers and allowing teachers to come talk to you with ideas and allowing them to share their concerns and thoughts, or if it's with parents. It doesn't matter what group of people we're talking about.
We want to make sure that we're taking the time to listen to people's concerns. We're being open. We're being empathetic. Again, we don't always have to agree, but we do need to listen. And we do need to collaborate because we are a partnership. You know, we need to partner with all these different groups in the school to make the best setting for kids.
Kids need us to partner with parents and with the [00:11:00] teachers and, community. It, it's so important. And so making sure that we. Take that time and really build those partnerships and bring people into the decision making process. I know, you know, I think about IEPs that I sit in and how parents input is so important.
We want to know what parents want for their child. That's so important that we're all on the same page and working towards the same goals for their child. So really making sure that we value other people's opinions and what they want for their child. Even if it's unrealistic and we can't necessarily do that.
We can value it, understand it, and then allow people to see from our perspective what we are able to do to help. So we know that working with stakeholders is important. We know that we need to build those stronger relationships with them. And It just helps the school community and the environment overall, but it also helps your own stress level.
When you are able to have relationships with the different stakeholders in the [00:12:00] school, it's going to help your ability to move forward in the building and just as a school. Whether it's with teachers, with parents, it doesn't matter. Making sure that we're collaborating and making sure that everybody feels part of it is going to help.
People feel like you value them and that they matter and it's going to help your own stress levels because you have this community versus these different groups of people who are working together and they're working against each other. So, Working effectively with different stakeholders, it requires a strategic mindset. You know, it requires clear communication and just your ability to establish collaborative partnerships, your ability to listen, but by adopting these strategies, you can build stronger relationships. You can foster a more positive school culture and a better experience for students, and this will enhance your overall effectiveness in just leading different.
diverse stakeholders. So I do offer one on one coaching. [00:13:00] So if you want practice working with different stakeholders in a one on one setting, or you just want to talk about how to have more neutral thoughts towards different stakeholders and reduce your stress overall in this area, I do provide free consultations to determine You know how we'll work together if it'll be a good fit.
So I encourage you to reach out to me on Instagram at Barbed Flowers Coaching, or through my website@barbedflowerscoaching.com. And if you love the show, if you're listening on Apple, scroll down on your app and leave a review. In the next episode, we're going to be talking about doubting your decisions as a principal. And keep in mind, you have the power to shape your life according to the mindset you choose. So I hope you have a great week and I'll see you back here next time.
