The Principal's Handbook

Three Tips for Principal Mental Health
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[00:00:00] In this episode, I'm sharing three tips to focus on your mental health as the principal. That's all coming up next right here on the Principal's Handbook.

Speaker: Welcome to the Principal's Handbook, your go-to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self-care. I'm Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness.

From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work-life balance. We'll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority. I.

Welcome to the podcast. Today we are talking about three tips to focus on your mental health as a principal, and we are well into the school year now, , I know in my school we're in the [00:01:00] second nine weeks and it is so easy to forget about your own mental health.

. I can remember as an elementary principal in the past, I actually struggled from burnout where I had a day that I had a panic attack and couldn't even go to work because I was so stressed out, and so it's. Very important that you're taking care of yourself and your mental health.

And today we're gonna talk about three ways to protect your mental health and rediscover joy in your role as a principal, because it's really important that you like what you do. I always say as principals or whatever job you do, , we're in it for at least 40 hours a week, and so. That is a huge portion of your day, and if you're dreading every day going to work and you're not feeling like you're taking care of yourself, there's a huge problem there.

And I will say, I feel like if you're a first year principal, it does get better. I do think it's harder when you're new in a building, and I'm saying that as a veteran principal who just took over a new building, the start of the year in a new building was crazy [00:02:00] because I'm creating new systems, , routines and just trying to find.

My rhythm again with time management in a new building, with everything being new. However, now it's November, I'm settling into new routines and things like that and feeling a lot better about it. So I would say that over time it does get better, but my burnout as a principal happened, I think it was year five.

. You know, it, It's really about priorities, what's going on in your life, things like that, because sometimes burnout happens. When it happened for me, I was getting remarried and had two little kids, and the job of a principal, it was all really stressful. So it could be a combination of things going on as a principal, things going on at home.

And no matter what it is, I really encourage you to take time for yourself, to focus on your mental health, to focus on your physical health. I have a lot of podcast episodes, even about physical health and things like that. Go back , , earlier on in the podcast, but today I'm sharing three [00:03:00] tips for protecting your mental health and to focus on your mental health.

So we're just gonna jump in. Tip number one, set and protect boundaries. Okay. So boundaries are huge. Without boundaries, work can consume everything. Your mental health, your family, any personal time you wanna have. I always say we have to have a life outside of work. I have worked with principals whose life is being a principal.

And that can be really difficult. And one of the things I always say, it helped me so much because I was a single mom early on in my role as a principal. And so I didn't have a choice I had to be on when I got home with my kids and I had to leave at four o'clock. When I was able to leave, I couldn't stay after.

It wasn't an option for me because I had to go get my kids at. Daycare at the time. And so, , I couldn't stay after. And so that really helped me build clear boundaries early on. So that work didn't consume everything. And I had to decide early on how was I going to [00:04:00] leave the building by four o'clock no matter what I had going on?

How was I going to leave by four o'clock? And it really shifted my mindset that it could be done. And so even now, I have this mindset that boundaries benefit everyone. I want to model for my staff the importance of boundaries. I wanna model for my staff the importance of leaving at four o'clock, the importance of not communicating after four o'clock.

I always tell my staff. You are more than welcome to call me, text me, but I am not checking my email. And, I'm not gonna check parent emails either. And so I encourage them to do the same. And that can be really hard, especially I'm in an elementary building and I was just talking to a kindergarten teacher about that.

In kindergarten it's hard. Parents have a lot of questions and it's okay to set those boundaries because we all deserve a life outside of. School, and that's for our own mental health. We have to get out of this stress mode, this fight or flight mode that we're in. And a lot of times we're in that at school because, especially as principals, we're dealing [00:05:00] with discipline or people constantly needing answers.

And we're constantly on making lots of decisions all day long, and our brains need a reset. They need time to rest. And they need time to not be in that fight or flight mode. And so you are actually being a better leader when you choose to set and protect boundaries. And so it's really important that you have that mindset that you're better for everybody when you set those boundaries and you can go home and be with your family.

And so part of that. Is one, having a set time that you want to leave each day? Like I said,

early on I have to leave by four because of my kids. And so I really do try to stick to that now.

. Setting communication limits. I really do try to set those to be done at four o'clock. Obviously I've had situations, where my superintendent calls or something like that, and I have to do communication or handle a situation after work. That's totally fine. I'm not against that. ,

I just try to make that the exception, not the rule that that's what's always [00:06:00] happening. The other thing I do to set and protect my boundaries is I time block at work and I get some things done during work. I know a lot of times I hear principals say, I have to be visible at work. And I totally agree.

I get in classrooms every day. I'm at lunch, I'm at recess, all those things. But it's still okay to get some work done in your office. It's okay to time block a period of time to get work done and get that done at school. , And then have time in your day just for yourself and time to physically take care of yourself.

I am a huge advocate for having some sort of physical exercise. In your life, if you don't like exercise, there is something that you can find that you'll like. Whether it's walking, doing dance videos, you can do Pilates, you can do yoga. I work out at home, I do body, , and different fitness apps that I can do 'em all on my phone or on the tv, in the basement.

I have a treadmill. There's just so many different ways now that we can [00:07:00] exercise from home that there really is no excuse. Not to get physical activity. And so I really encourage you to make sure you're getting some sort of physical activity every day because there's so much research about how that helps your mental health.

And I'm not saying you have to do a hardcore exercise routine every single day, but go for a walk every day that's intentional walk to get your heart rate up or do stretching or do strength training. All of that is. So important, and it's really important for your mental health and your own self-esteem, and it just gives you, for me, it gives me a morning routine that I just have time for myself.

It's something I do for me and I do every day. And so I, I really encourage you when you're setting and protecting boundaries, you have some kind of boundary around physical activity and even hobbies that you like, that you protect and you have something that is just for you. So again, that mindset shift is boundaries benefit everyone.

And your action step this week that I want you to think about around setting and [00:08:00] protecting boundaries is where's one area that you need to tighten a boundary? Is it around your time around work? Is it an emotional boundary? Is it. , Having people call you all the time, , what is the boundary that you need to set related to work?

So think about that. Alright, so tip two, give yourself grace. This is what I see a lot with principals that I think really takes a lot from your mental health is principals are wired to fix everything. And a lot of times with being a fixer. It, there's a level of perfectionism and , that's going to fuel burnout.

Now, I always say I'm not a perfectionist, but I will say I am a high achiever. So just because you're not a perfectionist, you might just be a high achiever where you feel like. You have to be doing and achieving all the time. , And that's me. And so I have to constantly just remind myself it's okay to be doing nothing, especially like after work, not during the day.

But give yourself grace. It's okay to be doing nothing. It's okay to have that [00:09:00] downtime. If you make a mistake at work, it happens. Reflect on how you wanna do it differently next time and move on. The other thing I see that I just did a podcast episode on, go back and listen to episode one 13 is imposter syndrome. Sometimes we have such bad imposter syndrome that it steals our peace. It really messes with our mental health because we think, how did I get here? How am I the one in charge of this school? And we start doubting ourself. And that doubt, that lack of confidence, all of that is really bad on our mental health.

And so I really encourage you. To reframe that negative self-talk instead of having thoughts of I should be, instead of having thoughts like I should be doing more, change it to, I'm doing the best I can right now with the time that I have. Build in small moments of recovery and just time to take a breath throughout the day.

This helps me so much. If I can take deep breaths, if I can just. Take a second to reframe. 'cause sometimes I get upset with a student or a [00:10:00] teacher or whatever, right? We're human. Have a second to reset. That's going to help so much. , But really reframing any negative self-talk, reminding yourself that

you're doing the best you can with the information you have and the situation that you're handling at that time. So really look for thoughts of, I should, I should, I should. And reframe that. So this week I want you to focus on finding times where you have imposter syndrome, and reframing that thought or finding thoughts that start with I should, I should, I should.

Okay, so reframe those thoughts. All right. And tip number three, reconnect with your why. Your why will help you enjoy your job so much. When everything feels like you're just in the grind, you're going day to day. And you're, not liking what you do. I want you to reconnect with why you went into education.

, Spend time in classrooms. Think about the parts of the job that you like. I always tell people it's so important that you reconnect with the parts of your job that you like. [00:11:00] I talk to assistant principals who are doing discipline all day, or IEP meetings and, it's hard to find the pieces you like in there, but , what made you wanna be a principal?

Usually when I talk to principals, it's related to instruction. So get in classrooms, be part of the professional development, celebrate wins. What are the good things happening, reconnect with, those quick wins that teachers are experiencing. Reflect on stories that remind you of the impact you're having every.

Day, but I really encourage people that we get stuck in the grind and doing so many things or so many parts of the job that maybe are not our favorite. Like a lot of people I talk to, it's discipline and you might get caught up in doing so much discipline. What are the parts that you need to reconnect with?

Where do you need to be more intentional? I always say. , I became a principal because I wanted to make a difference when it came to instruction. So I really prioritize instructional leadership, and I just did a podcast episode about [00:12:00] that. So go back to the last episode where I talk about instructional leadership and connect with that.

Connect with the leader that you wanted to be. Now, I will tell you, and I know that not everybody can do this, I was really feeling like I needed a change in my last job, and I took the year to work on my business and coach principles and coaching principles. That really brought me back to my why. Of why I became a principal in the first place and how I love leading people, leading teams, leading teachers, and how I wanna make a difference.

And it reminded me of how much I love working with kids and how I miss that. And I know that not everybody can take a year off, , but one thing I learned from that experience is then I got a job at a new school and it just was great to be able to take over a new school that really had a lot of areas that needed improvement.

And now I get to focus on, school improvement and helping grow the teachers and helping grow the students. And it really just brought back my passion for education again. So sometimes I think to reconnect with your [00:13:00] why it might be a new setting. And it's not because there's anything wrong with your old setting, it's just a new set of goals, a new set of challenges that you get to problem solve through.

And it can be really helpful in bringing you back to your purpose of the parts of education that you love. So an action step I want you to think about here is what is your why in one sentence, why did you become a principal and post it somewhere in your office. So on those hard days, you can remember and you can connect to that.

So if it's to make a difference with kids or with teachers, how are you doing that in the day to day? How do you feel like you actually get to do that? And reconnect with that. Why? So I just want to recap those three tips. So tip number one is set and protect those boundaries. Tip number two, give yourself grace.

Tip number three, reconnect with your why. So now I want you to reflect on those three tips. Which of those three areas. Do you need the most attention right now? All right. Share your takeaways on social media or send me an email at [00:14:00] barb@barbflowerscoaching.com.

I love to hear from podcast listeners. And if you want more support with, having time for yourself, setting better boundaries, check out the eight to four principle blueprint. I actually have 20% off for podcast listeners, so I have the link in the show notes for that 20% off. But I give you all the tips, the systems that I've created over the years to leave work by four and have the mental energy for yourself and your family when you get home, because you set.

Better boundaries. You have better systems in place and you're actually more efficient throughout the day. So I hope you found these tips helpful today. Again, if you like the podcast, please leave a review. That's how other people find the podcast. I hope you take time to reflect on this, and I will see you next week.

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