Top 3 Mistakes You Are Making for Handling Unexpected Situations as a Principal
21 Top 3 Mistakes You Are Making for Handling Unexpected Situations
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[00:00:00] In today's episode, I'm going to share the top three mistakes you're making for handling unexpected situations. This is all coming up next right here on the Less Stress Principle. Stay tuned. Welcome back. This is episode number 21, [00:01:00] and today we're talking about the top three mistakes you're making for handling unexpected situations.
I remember when I was a newer principal and I was in a constant state of stress handling unexpected situations, they would come up All the time. And I would get so frustrated because I'd have my day and my week all planned and I had my priorities set and I knew exactly what I wanted to get done. And these unexpected things would come up and they would take over my schedule.
It could be a simple incident between two students where one student said one thing and another student said another thing, and I'm trying to get the bottom, to the bottom of it and talk to witnesses and figure out what happened, and it could take me half a day to figure this out. And that's stressful as a principal.
That can be really hard because you want to have all the facts. You want to figure out, you know, what happened, but it can be so time consuming. over time, I've just had to learn to change my thinking [00:02:00] about situations. I've had to learn how to navigate them in a different way. And so today I want to share with you things I've learned in the top three mistakes you're probably making for handling unexpected situations.
So I want to start by thinking about all the things that can be so frustrating of dealing with these unexpected situations that principals deal with. First, it is a disruption of your planned activities. So, you know, you have your planned schedule. Like I said, I had things that I wanted to get done, and then a situation would come up and All that had to be put to the side so that I could deal with the situation, and I wasn't being the instructional leader that I wanted to be as much because I was constantly dealing with these situations that I had to put PLCs to the side or conversations I just wanted to have with teachers.
I didn't always have the time to do that. So that was one frustration for me. Another was just time management. If I spent half my day dealing with a discipline issue, then all the things I needed [00:03:00] to get done were just piling up and I had to find other times to get that work done. And that just increased my stress and overwhelm throughout the day.
Again, balancing priorities. It was really hard for me to deal with unexpected situations because I wasn't balancing my priorities and I wasn't able to focus on just being an instructional leader in the building because I was so focused on these unexpected things that would happen and, um, just constantly putting out fires.
Also, I wasn't always thinking about the staff morale and stress that came with that, but, you know, when these unexpected situations happen, or there's discipline, or things happening in classrooms, teachers get upset, they get stressed, they want communication, and sometimes it isn't the communication that they get, you know, I'm trying to communicate the best that I can, and, and people get stressed about the situation, and that can be really stressful because then you're dealing with other adult stress.
And then there's also the, you [00:04:00] know, issue of dealing with the parents and calling them and how they're going to handle the situation. And, you know, I was never sure you get one parent who's completely supportive and another parent who doesn't like how you handled anything. And, and all that just led to a lot of stress for me.
And then the stress of the decision making, you know, we deal with these situations and you have to make quick Decisions. And you have to be able to think quickly and make a good decision in a short amount of time. And that's a lot of pressure.
All of that that I'm talking about today, it takes an emotional toll on you.
Handling those unexpected situations, especially if it's a crisis situation or some sort of conflict, it takes an emotional toll on you and it can affect your own well being and it can affect the way you're leading. Again, I just go back to when I started as a principal and I was just constantly, I can remember putting out fires and it caused so much stress for me to even go into work [00:05:00] because I thought, what am I going to be dealing with today?
We know every day is different as a principal. There's always unexpected things that are going to come up, but I felt like I was doing this day after day after day and it just was not sustainable and I didn't. know what to do. I just thought this is normal, right? And I know that it's different based on every school that you're in and the population you're working with.
There's going to be more unexpected situations than other schools. But I found three mistakes I was making that I wanted to share with you today because it has changed everything for me. So the first mistake that I was making was I was treating every situation as an emergency. So people would come to me with a situation and they would be stressed and think it was an emergency.
And so then it would put me into a state of stress and me in the thinking that it is an emergency. And I would react impulsively to that, fueled by the stress and the sense of urgency, like I have to handle [00:06:00] it right now. And my anxiety would be heightened, you know, and I just viewed everything as an immediate threat that had to be handled right now.
An example of this is I would be walking the building or talking to teachers and I'd get a call that there's discipline from recess and I would come down right away and handle the situation. And it felt really stressful because I had been doing something, but I'm like, this discipline needs to be handled.
And I just felt like I was reacting all the time. And what I learned over time is those situations weren't really that urgent. It would be easy for my secretaries or whoever brings them in to write down the names of the students, what had happened, what the situation was, and I can talk to them at another point if I need to.
Or the students can wait. They don't need to be, it doesn't need to be handled right then. It's not an immediate threat. Nobody's in immediate danger. And then sometimes the situations that people came in with, they were [00:07:00] overreacting to the situation. It wasn't even a big deal, the situation. And they're like, Oh, it was a fight.
This was happening. And you find out it, it really wasn't a big deal. So I've learned over time to just go into situations really calm and just knowing that, you know, other people could be overreacting to the situation. It might not be an emergency. And if it's not an immediate threat that somebody's hurt or, something needs addressed right that second, then I don't need to address it that second, unless I'm available.
So really knowing when it's urgent or when it's not helps you to just not be in this heightened state of stress all the time and then making sure that you're, you're calm and you're going into the situation calm and not treating every situation as an emergency. The second mistake I was making was I was believing I was the sole problem solver.
So I thought I was the only one. I'm the principal. I have to solve this problem. I'm the only one who can solve this problem. And what I've learned over [00:08:00] time is there is a lot of people who can help me solve these problems. I am in a building where I have an assistant principal, um, some of the time and I also have a counselor and we have a behavior coach.
And honestly with discipline, our recess monitors are amazing and they have conversations with the kids as well. They don't actually discipline, but there's lots of people who are able to help solve the problem. So. What I used to think I was the only one who could handle it. Now I look at it like we're all a team, you know, I have to support these people.
I have to give them the space to handle situations and help them navigate them and, and learn, you know, how to navigate them, but with having that support. I am not the only one that needs to be called. And that has helped so much because it's not just calling the principal out for every little thing or calling the assistant principal out for every little piece of discipline.
You know, we've figured out systems in [00:09:00] place where Other people can solve the problem. Maybe it's an issue that the counselor needs to talk to them. Maybe it's just a conversation with a recess monitor or a teacher. So relying on your whole staff as a team to help the students grow and learn is really important because as the principal, I don't have all the answers.
I can definitely support and You know, discipline and all those things, but I don't have to be the only one. So having people to help with those situations is really important. And also what would happen is if I was absent, then all the discipline would just add up to the next day. And so also having systems in place that when you're not there, maybe there's a teacher.
I have some teachers who are getting their admin license who could. Deal with the situation. They could talk to the student. They're not going to give out discipline like you would. It's not going to be the same. However, they could handle the situation so it's not just waiting until you get back and building up.
So really utilizing [00:10:00] people's strengths in your building, looking at your staff members as a team to help out with these situations, that can be really helpful and it can help not put everything on you as the principal that you have to be the only one handling these unexpected situations. the third mistake I was making was I was allowing these situations to take a mental toll on me.
So you really have to be careful of this. And what I mean by allowing them to take a mental toll on me is I would take these, these unexpected situations, and I would just dissect them in my brain of every situation, how I handled it. Did I handle it correctly? You know, I had so much doubt in my ability to handle the situations or I worried so much about what other people thought about how I handled the situation that I was just, it was taking a mental toll on me.
I was always dissecting everything that had happened and really reflecting on it, but not in a good [00:11:00] way, like in a way that I was critical of myself and everything I did to handle that situation. And so then what happened was I would go home in a bad mood if I had a lot of unexpected situations that day because I was stressed and so my kids, my husband, my family dealt with that.
And so what I really encourage you to do is have clear boundaries between work and your personal life, learn to deal. with your mindset about these situations, learn to change your thinking about them. Because when I learned to change my thinking about the unexpected situations, and I've learned to compartmentalize, you know, I handled the situation.
It's done. I'm going home. I've learned to stop thinking about them and it is life changing. I can't stress that enough because. When you let those situations take a mental toll on you and they're just taking up so much space in your mind, it's exhausting and it really is going to create all this extra stress for you that's not good for your physical and mental health and it will lead to burnout.
You're not going to be able to sustain the [00:12:00] job if you don't get clear boundaries with this, and if you don't learn how to manage your mindset when it comes to these unexpected situations. So changing your thoughts are so important.
I just want to encourage you as we end this episode to really empower your mindset shift. So think about things like, what if you could handle the situation with ease? So instead of it's an emergency and I'm stressed and it's going to be hard, shift your thinking to what if it's not hard?
What if I can easily handle this? What if you could just trust yourself that you're making the best decision in the situation? You know, that's changed everything for me too, to just think I've done everything I can in this situation to the best of my ability. You know, maybe there are things I can reflect on and do better, but with the information I had at the time, I made the best decision that I could.
So really changing your mindset about it and go from a state of beating yourself up for how you handled something or being critical of yourself to just giving yourself grace and really questioning [00:13:00] yourself and reflecting on the experience and, and knowing that you have the ability to handle that. And just reflecting on these three mistakes that I talked about today.
And understanding where your struggle is with the, with the three mistakes is so important for your own personal and professional growth, because like I said, when I learned to change how I handled unexpected situations, it has now made the job more sustainable for me, it's made me a better mom and wife when I go home because I'm not so stressed about work, you know, and, and just acknowledging that It takes time, it takes reflection, and it takes a lot of work to get to a point where your emotions don't out overpower your decision making and they don't overpower your life because you're constantly thinking about those decisions you made or how you handled situations. So So really taking that time to just reflect and grow and knowing that you did the best you could in each situation and not making those three mistakes. Letting people help you, you know, [00:14:00] let your staff help you. Don't overreact to situations. And make sure that you're taking care of your mindset when it comes to these situations.
So just remember that the more that you can rely on others and not make these three mistakes, you're going to have better problem solving skills. It is going to make leadership more sustainable and you are going to just feel more comfortable and enjoy your role as a principal. And my goal with helping principals is always to help you be more resilient so you feel less stressed.
And you can stay in the profession because if we're not being resilient and we're not having those skills and learning those skills to be resilient, then we're going to get burnout and we're not going to be able to do our job to our best ability. And if you want to take this to the next step and having less stress in your role as a principal, I'd love the opportunity to coach you one on one.
I offer free consults, so if you want to reach out for a free consult, we can see if we're a good fit to work together. And in one on one coaching, I help you focus on your mindset and we [00:15:00] work in depth on your thoughts. So we take your thoughts and we really see how those thoughts are impacting your emotions and your actions.
So reach out to me on Instagram at Barb Flowers Coaching or on my website at barbflowerscoaching. com. Also, if you love the show and you're listening on Apple, scroll down in your app and leave a review. In the next episode, we're going to be talking about insider secrets to working with various stakeholders.
And keep in mind, you have the power to shape your life according to the mindset you choose. I hope you have a great week and I'll see you back here next time.
