The Principal's Handbook

Welcome back to the podcast today. We're talking about how your role as a principal might feel unsustainable. And if that is happening, it probably [00:01:00] is unsustainable.
If you are feeling like it's not sustainable, it probably is not. As principals so often, I hear people doing so many things. All the time that are not sustainable for leadership long term. And so that's what we're talking about today. I'm not talking about seasons of leadership. I do think there are seasons of leadership, different times in the school year that are definitely more difficult than others that require longer hours than others.
But I'm talking about when you are having, , 60 hour work weeks for most of your weeks. The majority of the time that you're working is. You know, 50 to 60 hours a week. You're always working. You're always thinking about work. And you think, how long can I do this? Okay, so we're going to be talking about that today.
, and I wanted to start by talking about every leadership role is very different. Every principal, assistant principal role, any job in leadership that you have. can look different district to district. [00:02:00] I was in a district with two elementary schools and our jobs as elementary principals look different.
Our buildings were very different. Our teacher dynamics were different. The communities were different. And this was all within the same school district, right? We had varying numbers of students. students, , different levels of support because of the numbers of students, different behaviors.
It was really interesting to see that just within the same community, all the differences that happened between those two elementaries. And I think that that is such a good reminder that No principles are alike. If you go to a principal's meeting, which, you know, as a principal, I always made sure to attend principals meetings with local principals so I could get ideas, you're going to see that everybody's job is different.
Sure. You have similar challenges and similar, , things that you face that you can support each other with. And I'll talk about that. I think that's really important. But I also think it's important to know that your role can look so different. And what is sustainable for you might not be for somebody else and vice versa.
So all things [00:03:00] to think about, and I think these are things to think about when you're determining if you're in the right role as well, because every district is different. , it depends how many resources they have, how many supports, school size, demographics. The staff experience that you have in your building.
If you're leading a building of new teachers, that's going to be very different if you have veteran teachers, , with more experience, community expectations, plays a huge part in your role. Like how much are parents involved in contacting you? , and then again, how much available support staff do you have?
When I was first a principal, we just had an assistant principal and then eventually. We got a counselor, we got behavior specialist, you know, we got different roles that we didn't have at first, and it changed what that job looked like. It helped dramatically. So just knowing all of that, that, you know, the different types of supports you have available to your district, , make a huge difference too.
So as we're talking today, I [00:04:00] just want you to know that every job is different. So you really have to evaluate this against your own experiences in your district and what you're currently going through. And I really have become, passionate about this topic of sustainable leadership. And I recently just released a course about this because, you know, I've been talking to so many principals and the job really can be honest, unsustainable if we make it that way.
, and sometimes it's designed that way by the school district and we have to know that and advocate for ourselves. But I think that talking to so many principals has just brought this to the forefront for me on how many principals are working so hard, and it's just not realistic. Not that you shouldn't be working hard, but I was talking to an assistant principal who has a lot of teachers to evaluate.
And she's spending four hours on one evaluation. Okay. And you might relate to that. You might say I spend four hours on one evaluation too. And the argument there is, and I will say talking to her, [00:05:00] she gives amazing feedback to teachers. She's so good at the evaluation. She's so good at instruction. , but what I want you to consider when I'm saying that is, Can you do four hour evaluations if you have 30 teachers to observe more than once, right?
Like that's not sustainable. That's not practical. That's not really something you can do in practice. So it's just thinking about, you know, we want to do our jobs to the best Best of our abilities. And I think that that's important. We should all take pride in our work and want to do a really good job.
However, like what is actually practical that you can do in your role? Can you spend four hours on each evaluation? Probably not because you have other things that you need to be doing and there's no way you could spend four hours in a school day. And so do you have the time to spend four hours on a weekend per teacher for an evaluation?
So just thinking about that, that, that's just kind of setting the context that, that really is going to lead to burnout and, , just you not being able to [00:06:00] sustain the job. Now I will say too, as a newer principal, , these evaluations and things like that might take you a longer time. And then as you get better at them, more familiar with them, the times get shorter.
But just some things to think about as we talk today. So I just want to talk about a couple of self imposed challenges that I see that people do that really make the role unsustainable. It's not practical. It's not something that is going to make your life easier as a principal. So the first one I see is perfectionism.
We set unrealistic standards. For ourselves. And, you know, we think that nothing that we do is good enough. We think that everything that needs to go out it has to be perfect. Has to be perfect for parents, for teachers, for everybody. And what that does, it really has an impact on everything you put out.
A lot of people with perfectionism actually avoid doing things because they know it's going to be such. A burden to do because they're beating themselves up. They're criticizing themselves so much as they're doing the [00:07:00] task because it has to be perfect. And that's not even a realistic standard.
, you know, I've heard perfectionism talked about as no standard at all. And I, I think that makes so much sense because if you're setting such a high standard, you can never reach, then it really is like, it's no standard at all. And it impacts everything you do. It impacts The decisions you make, you know, as a principal, you have to make decisions quick all the time.
Like we have decisions coming at us all the time and you just have to be able to make a decision, feel confident in that decision and move on. And if you're a perfectionist, if you're a perfectionist as well, that makes it really hard to just make a decision and move on. So perfectionism can steal so much of your time.
It can steal so much of your mental energy. Which makes you really tired , you know, I always say being a principal obviously isn't physically demanding, but it is so mentally demanding and that can be just as tiring. And I say that I always compared with my husband, , who has a more physically [00:08:00] demanding job.
I would be so tired and I'm like, it's not because I was physically working today. It's just the mental energy that comes. From all of the decisions that we're making and all of the things we have to do all day. And if you're setting unrealistic standards and you're wanting everything to be perfect, it's not going to go well for you.
So that is a common pattern I see. The other thing I see, and it kind of goes with perfectionism, is poor delegation. If you want everything perfect or if you want it done a certain way, it's Usually you struggle to delegate. You don't trust that other people can do it as good as you can do it. Or sometimes I hear I can do it faster myself, which I'm guilty of that one.
, and what really happens then is you're not empowering other people and you're not helping other people grow as a leader. You're not helping other people build capacity in what they're able to do.
I struggled a lot with this as a new principal because my principal delegated to me a lot, which was great, but it was just a lot on my plate as a teacher. So sometimes I took that into my role as a [00:09:00] principal. , thinking I don't want to put too much on their plate, but I really learned over time that teachers like to feel empowered.
They want to feel part of things. And if they have a strength that I don't have, I need to delegate same with secretaries delegate to your secretary. Sometimes people struggle to do that. You have to utilize those people to help you. You do not have time to get all the things done. So find people who have strengths that you don't have and delegate to them.
, another thing I see, a pattern that I see that's unsustainable is over commitment. People who find it difficult to say no. And this was my thing that I struggled with, was over commitment. I'm a, , people pleaser. I like to do all of the things. I get excited about work, and so I want to be on every committee and do everything.
And the problem with this is you can't do everything. And still have a personal life, right? Like you have to have time for yourself. And if you're saying yes to everything, then you're taking away time for you and your family. So think [00:10:00] about what are the priorities that you're committing to and where are you over committing?
Because when you over commit, like I said,
as a people pleaser, I would then get frustrated that I said yes to these things. And then I would. Not be happy when I'm there. I would actually be mad that I made that commitment and take it out on everybody else. So thinking about that, that you don't want to over commit because it's not going to be good for anybody.
You're really not helping people out if you overcommit and you're not helping yourself because in the long run, you need that time to decompress and relax. Now there's times where certain districts have things that you have to do. But I'm talking about what are those things that you're choosing to do?
You know, so extra things. I was really part of the principal organization in Ohio. I do mentoring for principals, things like that. All things that I like to do, but sometimes that can all be an overcommitment because I get excited about things and I want to keep learning and growing. But then it really takes on more responsibilities outside of my main role as a principal that can make it hard.
[00:11:00] So you just have to balance what that looks like for you. The other thing I see that's not sustainable as a principal is neglecting your self care. And I've seen this with new principals. , I've talked to a lot of principals and, they might gain like 10 to 15 pounds in their first year as a principal.
And that really comes from them just a hundred percent putting themselves into work and forgetting about their own self care. And that's not something that you ever want to do. You want to make sure that you're always taking care of yourself because when you take care of yourself, you are better for others.
And I think we forget that. But if you think about like. High level CEOs and successful people. I read a lot of business books, things like that. All of these successful people put self care first. They're exercising every day. They're doing mindset work. , they're doing tons of personal development and I see as principals, and I see this with teachers too, right?
Like educators, we put other people first and we put ourselves on the back burner and that's not helping anybody. [00:12:00] So we have to remember as school leaders that we can't neglect our own self care We have to focus on ourselves to be better for others. So you want to make sure you're eating breakfast and lunch.
So often I hear people who are like, I don't have time for lunch. I don't get to eat lunch. , you know, I'm a person who I don't like skipping meals. And so I always made time for lunch. I mean, there were those days that were just crazy, but on the day to day, I always made time for lunch. , I always made sure I had enough sleep.
Sleep is so important. And I have other podcasts episodes I can link in the show notes here, but sleep is so important. There's so much research about. Sleep and it helping with your memory and your cognitive function. And if you're going to work without enough sleep, you're not going to be your best for your team and the people that you're serving as a principal.
So making sure you get enough sleep is important. Making sure you have time with your family, with your friends. , you know, with your spouse, you have to have that time because if your family life is off, it's going to impact your work life too. [00:13:00] So you have to make time for that and focus on that as well as your work.
, and then also just your physical and mental health, make sure you are getting movement and make sure you are exercising, , taking that time for yourself. I made sure to exercise and I still do every single morning. It could be walking on the treadmill. It could be , doing a strength training workout, whatever it is.
And I work out at home because I have two little kids here so they can sleep and I'm working out in my basement. whatever that needs to look like for you, , but you have to take care of your physical health and then also your mental health. And this is where coaching comes in. But I also talk about journaling, , meditation work, all of these things are so important.
And if you're not putting those things first, you're not going to be better for other people. So some things I want you to think about. To assess if your leadership style right now is sustainable is how many hours per week do you work outside of school? And this is what I recommended to that principal who was working so much outside of school.
I said, [00:14:00] track your hours. How much are you working outside of school? And what are you doing? Like, because this could be another person's job and you need to communicate that and let people know that But if you just do it without talking to people and letting them know how much time you're spending outside of school, nothing will change with that role.
And then think about when was the last time you took a full weekend off and truly disconnected? This is something I see a lot where, you know, we miss so many things because we can't truly disconnect. I also have a checklist, um, that's in the show notes. That helps principals disconnect. You need to truly disconnect on the weekends and even in the evenings.
And I talk about, because there's a stress cycle, right? We're in a stress cycle all week. We, we have something happen. Our body goes into fight or flight and we have to get out of the cycle. We have to find ways. To calm our nervous system down regulate ourselves and get back to a space where we feel safe and less stressed Otherwise, We are gonna have so many negative impacts on our health So you have to [00:15:00] take that time on the weekend and in the evenings And then think about how often do you miss family events?
Are you missing kids events? Are you missing, you know, relatives events because you're working all the time? And I can find myself guilty of that even now where I'll be working on a project and I just want to sit at home and work on it, but I always make sure that I prioritize my kids events. I also want you to think about your quality of life.
So how has your health been affected? You know, did you notice that you used to be healthier and you stopped working out and eating healthy? , what activities have you given up? Maybe it's that you used to play, my husband's into adult sports. He loves soccer, baseball, you know, all of those adult sports that I do not like, but maybe you used to do that.
And you have decided that you don't have time for it now that you're a principal, you know, what activities have you given up that really impacts your health and just your overall quality of life? And then how has your relationship with your family changed? I noticed myself a lot. I had to have conversations with my husband and check in because I could be [00:16:00] a totally different person in the summer than during the school year.
And so I really always had to check in with how am I treating my family when I get home because I'm so stressed during the day. Am I taking that out on them? Especially having kids that are the same age as the kids that I worked with at school. Sometimes I would take that as like, Oh no, I don't want them to have these behavior traits that I see with other behavior kids.
And I would start to. Make that mean something about my own personal kids and put more pressure on them and actually be harder on them when I got home. And then I want you to ask yourself, are you still finding joy in your work? Do you love what you're doing? If you are working a lot, you know, it makes a huge difference if you love the work you're doing.
And then can you sustain that pace for another year? So looking at where you're spending your time, can you continue to do that? And what would your ideal work life balance look like? So I just wanted to share some of those common traps I see with people who are creating leadership practices that are not sustainable.
I really want you to take this time, go through and [00:17:00] ask yourself these reflection questions and think about. Is your leadership on sustainable and if it is unsustainable, you really want to set practices in place that help it become more sustainable. Think about what are the areas that you need to readjust.
And I also want to remind you that sustainable leadership is effective leadership. I hear so often that, well, there can't be work life balance and Good leadership and effective leadership where I'm making changes in my building. And I argue so much, yes, there can, it's not one or the other. It's actually, the more you take care of yourself, the more you disconnect, you model it for your staff, the better you're going to be for your staff.
So make sure that you're really assessing your current situation and you're making the necessary changes. You need to before. Burnout occurs and you decide I can't do this anymore. And you have to leave your position. And the other thing I want to let you know is I just released my course, the sustainable principle.
And I put the link in the show [00:18:00] notes. I really encourage you to go to barbflowers. com forward slash courses. Check that out because I have so many systems in there that help principals make the job. Be more sustainable for them, be more manageable, let you live your life where you can enjoy work, be fully present at work and enjoy your personal life as well.
Because I think so often we let that go to the wayside. If you love the show, if you're listening on Apple, scroll down in your app and leave a review. Keep in mind, you have the power to shape your life according to the mindset you choose. I hope you have a great week and I'll see you back here next time.